Monday, February 20, 2012


Science isn't all about fun and games, there is responsibility in Science. And that is why Science and I are bringing you this Public Service Announcement:

At some point, it may come to your attention that you LOVE dark chocolate and red wine together. You might then, one day, be drinking red wine and notice a jug of chocolate milk in the refrigerator. (This may happen after you already had a few swigs from it's delicious contents earlier that morning, while Jsun was in the shower, and giggled to no end as you sang "The best part of waking up, is drinking Jsun's chocolate milk from the jug!" because he DIDN'T EVEN HEAR YOU! Or that may not happen to you, but you notice the jug of chocolate milk in the fridge, just the same.) You might notice this jug, and be inspired that chocolate and wine are so good together--obviously you should make a red wine and chocolate milk cocktail.

DON'T DO IT. Trust me. I am not saying I did it. I mean, who would do that? That is the activity of a crazy person. And at 1:30 in the afternoon on a Monday, no less. Really, what the hell are you trying to say about me? I am a responsible mother-trucking adult. You can tell because I washed purple velvet curtains today. Clearly only responsible adults wash their purple velvet curtains. But that is beside the point. Don't mix red wine and chocolate milk. It tastes gross and the milk gets all curdley, and then it is like chewy milk chunks in lightly chocolated wine...or, so I hear. It's the word on the street.

Hypothetically, if (IF, damnit!) I did that--it was totally in the name of Science. I am like the FDA of bad cocktail ideas. I am here for Science and your protection. Like a condom, only enjoyable. And impulsive. And I have boobs. (Not sure the metaphor is holding up at this point. But it doesn't have to. I have a trump card. It's Science.)


  1. Your (I mean, hypothetically speaking your) cocktail sounds disgusting! All in the name of science, I guess.

    1. Science involves a lot of failure--and this is an excellent example. It (hypothetically) was one of my biggest failures to date. I would blame the wine, but I like wine and don't want to piss it off.