Saturday, August 27, 2011


Apparently there are at least limited typing abilities...(and the meatballs are made and simmering in the sauce).


1 oz vodka
1/4 oz grenadine syrup
1 oz gin
1 oz light rum
1/2 oz Bacardi 151
1 oz amaretto almond liqueur
1 oz triple sec
grapefruit juice
pineapple juice

Pour all but the juices into a glass three-quarters filled with crushed ice. Fill with equal parts of grapefruit and pineapple juice, and serve.

Once again, I made it as advised and tasted it...then added the passion fruit syrup (the one I made from juice) when it tasted a teensy bit flat. Much better. I really liked this one, a deep and complex flavor from the variety of liquors. The juices were also well balanced, I couldn't pick any one flavor out of the mélange.

Okay. I'm gonna go watch BDSM videos and eat dinner...because that's normal. But then, I suppose making meatballs to simmer in home made tomato sauce you canned yourself and then serve over fettucini you had previously made and frozen in nests isn't exactly normal either.

I rock. It's Science.

Sophomoric attempt...

For my next trick, I will emulate the hurricane of an undisclosed bar, sometimes called Pattie O.'s...

The difficult thing here is that there are more than a few that will tell you this used to be a thing of loveliness (even if not strictly traditional). A fruit-punchy orgy of rums competing to put you to bed (or at least IN bed). I swear on my vibrator, they used to have a female attendant in the bathroom who described the bulk of her job as letting girls know how much rum is in the drinks and holding hair back.

Now many who like to have this argument seem to boil it down to the days when your glass would have frozen condensation, as opposed to the wet condensation you get now (when did "wet" stop being a fun adjective?)--all of which is supposed to relate to alcohol content.

Here is what I did: Start with fruit punch and add the lore I have heard over the years.

The Down and Dirty:
1.5 oz. White rum
1.5 oz. Dark rum
4.5 oz. Fruit punch (I used Kool-aid, because I am a BAMF)
1 oz. Bacardi 151

Mix the first 3 in a glass. Fill almost to full with crushed ice. Float the 151. Garnish with orange slice and cherry. If you are fucking psycho for straws (esp. bendy straws) like me, add a straw.

Place in front of pretty flowers from the Jsun...

Here is the secret (which convinces me passion fruit is the KEY...there is no passion fruit, only Zool):

Before I did the floater (because if you stir again, it isn't really a floater, is it?), I tasted it. Good. Tasty even. But a bit flat. So? I added 1 oz. of the passion fruit syrup (the one I made from the juice)...MAGIC MOTHER FUCKERS! Holy punk monkeys!

Then I floated the 151.

For the record, I got a SERIOUSLY frozen condensation. Over, and over, at each level of drinkage.

I don't know if I will be able to type for the next drink...Also, I am trying to make meatballs.

P.S. FYI: I am not trying to make fun of hurricanes, and certainly not those hit hard by them, but I have never been through one before. This was the best way I knew how to cope.


Now, for the true Methodique Boisson! So, there is much debate over just what the fuck a hurricane is. Enter Science. Now we aren't going to prove anything...or probably even learn much (at least not that we remember)...but we WILL find the version of a hurricane that I like best

If you want to learn (a tiny bit) more about the hurricane, I will lead you to the website of the bar that made it famous, and then proceeded to famously bastardize it. That's right. The parents of the drink mix weren't married when the mix was conceived. Seems Sciencey.

The basics:
Rum- Bacardi Superior (white), The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, and Bacardi 151
Juices- orange, unsweetened grapefruit, pineapple, cherry Kool-aid, and tropical punch Kool-aid (in Science, Kool-aid is juice)
Garnish- Oranges, lemons, limes, grenadine, maraschino cherries
The KEY (apparently)- Passion fruit syrup (in most recipes, in all seemingly quality recipes, often cited as the defining ingredient)

The Caveat:
Passion fruit syrup is hard to come by when you decide (while at work) Friday to make hurricanes all day Saturday. Especially in the particular locale in which I find myself. As such, improvisation is necessary. I came up with two substitutes, which may get combined at some point: 1 Qt. passion fruit juice reduced by half with approximately 1/2 cup sugar in it, and a pint of passion fruit sorbet (limited additional ingredients, no dairy) melted. Adventures in Science!

The logical place to start seems to be the "Hurricane Cocktail," seems to be the origin or basis the others stem from...also seems not to have a (real) recipe. You can find some...but they often have mixers or other things that suggest they are not really cocktails. The best description I have found was "rum, passion fruit syrup, and lemon juice." Seems authentic, and I think I like the puzzle of only being given an ingredients list with no proportions or instructions.

With no further ado:

It got too big, because I was tinkering, but here were the proportions:

4 oz. White rum
4 oz. Dark rum
4 oz. Passion fruit goo (in this case melted sorbet...only after making the drink did I notice that the top layer of the sorbet was foam, with a syrup this one was made with sorbet foam...whatever that means)
Juice of half a lemon

Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass.

The result...mixed. The color is odd (due to bright yellow passion fruit and black rum), it is super foamy (ummm...probably because I shook sorbet foam over ice? SCIENCE!)...but it tastes delicious! Light, bright, fruity and fun! A bit much to drink all night, but damn tasty.

The morning aftermath...

"I'm thinking...wait, no I'm not. I'm trying to think. It's similar, but less effective."


"Phones shouldn't be that arousing."

FOR THE RECORD...there was certainly some post-imbibement haze, but I think that post-coital languor was equally or more responsible. I was informed, however, that if that (the first one) wasn't a quote for this forum, nothing was.

Also, the haze this morning was bewildering. One mixed drink, one beer, and two Manhattans. I understand that those of less libatious fortitude might find that ample to result in drunkenness and next morning malaise, but I am staunch in my consumption. My only theory has to do with a combination of inadequate sleep (there is no valid reason any of us should be aware there is a 5:45 in the morning), not eating enough (I love food, I am not one of those creepy waif girls that won't eat--I just got distracted), and dehydration (my body works best with 2+ liters of water a day...stupid body, being all demanding).

My will see...

Thursday, August 18, 2011


The reason to shake a martini near your ear:

The viscosity changes resulting from chilling produce a change in sound.

P.S. Due to drunken fun...this is draft 19 or so...

Things are happening...

...What are they?

That is me. Just me. Being me.

Oh. And eating tomatoes.

I am sure that is Science somehow...AMERKA! That's why, bitch!