Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Fun Fact:
Singing in a dirty "French" voice about dirty things...really solid way to make sense of the world.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Preserved lemons...ROCK MY SOCKS!
Okay, preserved lemons are one of the most awesome things ever, it's a Scientific fact. I say so, and I make Science. Anyway, I make them, I love them, I eat them. And I am always looking for more ways to do all three. If you don't know what preserved lemons are--well, you're deprived, no two ways about it, but--you're not alone. They can be made a number of ways, but the way I make them is very simple: Combine lemons and salt in a jar (it is more detailed than this, but I can't imagine you care--and I am not an authority and you should ask someone else--that being said, I will tell you anyway: cut off the stem end of your lemons, quarter them, but don't cut quite all the way through, pack the cut surfaces with kosher salt, pack the lemons into a jar with "shoulders", cram them down as hard as you can with a wooden spoon, pack as many as you possibly can in the jar, smooshing the juice out of them, if necessary add more lemon juice to cover the lemons, add a tablespoon or so of kosher salt, seal, and store in a cool dark place for 4 weeks, shaking/turning over occasionally. The finished product will store about a year in the fridge). [I bet any English teachers' heads exploded with all those commas.]
So, upshot: They are extremely salty and sour. I WANT TO PUT THEM IN COCKTAILS. Sort of a sweet/salty kinda notion. This works extremely well with li hing mui (a salty/sweet/sour dried plum), which makes amazing margaritas, infused vodka, and a variety of other cocktails.
IDEA 1: Preserved Lemon Simple Syrup
Not sure how this will work out. It is sweet, salty, and slightly bitter. Thick. This is going to take some experimentation. No, I didn't take a picture. Use your imagination.
IDEA 2: Preserved Lemon Dirty Martini
Use a bit of brining liquid instead of olive juice and garnish with a bit of lemon. I hope to try this later...but I have had beer, and an attempt using IDEA 1, and the Kool-aid is calling me.
ATTEMPTS
Preserved Lemon Drop- This was weird. I may have put too much syrup in. I dunno. I ended up dumping it into a pint glass (before I thought to take a picture) and adding diet lemon-lime soda.
Okay...dinner time...maybe I will try again later...
So, upshot: They are extremely salty and sour. I WANT TO PUT THEM IN COCKTAILS. Sort of a sweet/salty kinda notion. This works extremely well with li hing mui (a salty/sweet/sour dried plum), which makes amazing margaritas, infused vodka, and a variety of other cocktails.
IDEA 1: Preserved Lemon Simple Syrup
Not sure how this will work out. It is sweet, salty, and slightly bitter. Thick. This is going to take some experimentation. No, I didn't take a picture. Use your imagination.
IDEA 2: Preserved Lemon Dirty Martini
Use a bit of brining liquid instead of olive juice and garnish with a bit of lemon. I hope to try this later...but I have had beer, and an attempt using IDEA 1, and the Kool-aid is calling me.
ATTEMPTS
Preserved Lemon Drop- This was weird. I may have put too much syrup in. I dunno. I ended up dumping it into a pint glass (before I thought to take a picture) and adding diet lemon-lime soda.
Okay...dinner time...maybe I will try again later...
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Trois
Apparently there are at least limited typing abilities...(and the meatballs are made and simmering in the sauce).
So,
ATTEMPT THREE
Once again, I made it as advised and tasted it...then added the passion fruit syrup (the one I made from juice) when it tasted a teensy bit flat. Much better. I really liked this one, a deep and complex flavor from the variety of liquors. The juices were also well balanced, I couldn't pick any one flavor out of the mélange.
Okay. I'm gonna go watch BDSM videos and eat dinner...because that's normal. But then, I suppose making meatballs to simmer in home made tomato sauce you canned yourself and then serve over fettucini you had previously made and frozen in nests isn't exactly normal either.
I rock. It's Science.
So,
ATTEMPT THREE
Once again, I made it as advised and tasted it...then added the passion fruit syrup (the one I made from juice) when it tasted a teensy bit flat. Much better. I really liked this one, a deep and complex flavor from the variety of liquors. The juices were also well balanced, I couldn't pick any one flavor out of the mélange.
Okay. I'm gonna go watch BDSM videos and eat dinner...because that's normal. But then, I suppose making meatballs to simmer in home made tomato sauce you canned yourself and then serve over fettucini you had previously made and frozen in nests isn't exactly normal either.
I rock. It's Science.
Sophomoric attempt...
For my next trick, I will emulate the hurricane of an undisclosed bar, sometimes called Pattie O.'s...
The difficult thing here is that there are more than a few that will tell you this used to be a thing of loveliness (even if not strictly traditional). A fruit-punchy orgy of rums competing to put you to bed (or at least IN bed). I swear on my vibrator, they used to have a female attendant in the bathroom who described the bulk of her job as letting girls know how much rum is in the drinks and holding hair back.
Now many who like to have this argument seem to boil it down to the days when your glass would have frozen condensation, as opposed to the wet condensation you get now (when did "wet" stop being a fun adjective?)--all of which is supposed to relate to alcohol content.
Here is what I did: Start with fruit punch and add the lore I have heard over the years.
The Down and Dirty:
1.5 oz. White rum
1.5 oz. Dark rum
4.5 oz. Fruit punch (I used Kool-aid, because I am a BAMF)
1 oz. Bacardi 151
Mix the first 3 in a glass. Fill almost to full with crushed ice. Float the 151. Garnish with orange slice and cherry. If you are fucking psycho for straws (esp. bendy straws) like me, add a straw.
Place in front of pretty flowers from the Jsun...
Here is the secret (which convinces me passion fruit is the KEY...there is no passion fruit, only Zool):
Before I did the floater (because if you stir again, it isn't really a floater, is it?), I tasted it. Good. Tasty even. But a bit flat. So? I added 1 oz. of the passion fruit syrup (the one I made from the juice)...MAGIC MOTHER FUCKERS! Holy punk monkeys!
Then I floated the 151.
For the record, I got a SERIOUSLY frozen condensation. Over, and over, at each level of drinkage.
I don't know if I will be able to type for the next drink...Also, I am trying to make meatballs.
P.S. FYI: I am not trying to make fun of hurricanes, and certainly not those hit hard by them, but I have never been through one before. This was the best way I knew how to cope.
The difficult thing here is that there are more than a few that will tell you this used to be a thing of loveliness (even if not strictly traditional). A fruit-punchy orgy of rums competing to put you to bed (or at least IN bed). I swear on my vibrator, they used to have a female attendant in the bathroom who described the bulk of her job as letting girls know how much rum is in the drinks and holding hair back.
Now many who like to have this argument seem to boil it down to the days when your glass would have frozen condensation, as opposed to the wet condensation you get now (when did "wet" stop being a fun adjective?)--all of which is supposed to relate to alcohol content.
Here is what I did: Start with fruit punch and add the lore I have heard over the years.
The Down and Dirty:
1.5 oz. White rum
1.5 oz. Dark rum
4.5 oz. Fruit punch (I used Kool-aid, because I am a BAMF)
1 oz. Bacardi 151
Mix the first 3 in a glass. Fill almost to full with crushed ice. Float the 151. Garnish with orange slice and cherry. If you are fucking psycho for straws (esp. bendy straws) like me, add a straw.
Place in front of pretty flowers from the Jsun...
Here is the secret (which convinces me passion fruit is the KEY...there is no passion fruit, only Zool):
Before I did the floater (because if you stir again, it isn't really a floater, is it?), I tasted it. Good. Tasty even. But a bit flat. So? I added 1 oz. of the passion fruit syrup (the one I made from the juice)...MAGIC MOTHER FUCKERS! Holy punk monkeys!
Then I floated the 151.
For the record, I got a SERIOUSLY frozen condensation. Over, and over, at each level of drinkage.
I don't know if I will be able to type for the next drink...Also, I am trying to make meatballs.
P.S. FYI: I am not trying to make fun of hurricanes, and certainly not those hit hard by them, but I have never been through one before. This was the best way I knew how to cope.
Hurricane!
Now, for the true Methodique Boisson! So, there is much debate over just what the fuck a hurricane is. Enter Science. Now we aren't going to prove anything...or probably even learn much (at least not that we remember)...but we WILL find the version of a hurricane that I like best
If you want to learn (a tiny bit) more about the hurricane, I will lead you to the website of the bar that made it famous, and then proceeded to famously bastardize it. That's right. The parents of the drink mix weren't married when the mix was conceived. Seems Sciencey.
The basics:
Rum- Bacardi Superior (white), The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, and Bacardi 151
Juices- orange, unsweetened grapefruit, pineapple, cherry Kool-aid, and tropical punch Kool-aid (in Science, Kool-aid is juice)
Garnish- Oranges, lemons, limes, grenadine, maraschino cherries
The KEY (apparently)- Passion fruit syrup (in most recipes, in all seemingly quality recipes, often cited as the defining ingredient)
The Caveat:
Passion fruit syrup is hard to come by when you decide (while at work) Friday to make hurricanes all day Saturday. Especially in the particular locale in which I find myself. As such, improvisation is necessary. I came up with two substitutes, which may get combined at some point: 1 Qt. passion fruit juice reduced by half with approximately 1/2 cup sugar in it, and a pint of passion fruit sorbet (limited additional ingredients, no dairy) melted. Adventures in Science!
The logical place to start seems to be the "Hurricane Cocktail," seems to be the origin or basis the others stem from...also seems not to have a (real) recipe. You can find some...but they often have mixers or other things that suggest they are not really cocktails. The best description I have found was "rum, passion fruit syrup, and lemon juice." Seems authentic, and I think I like the puzzle of only being given an ingredients list with no proportions or instructions.
With no further ado:
ATTEMPT ONE
It got too big, because I was tinkering, but here were the proportions:
4 oz. White rum
4 oz. Dark rum
4 oz. Passion fruit goo (in this case melted sorbet...only after making the drink did I notice that the top layer of the sorbet was foam, with a syrup underneath...so this one was made with sorbet foam...whatever that means)
Juice of half a lemon
Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass.
The result...mixed. The color is odd (due to bright yellow passion fruit and black rum), it is super foamy (ummm...probably because I shook sorbet foam over ice? SCIENCE!)...but it tastes delicious! Light, bright, fruity and fun! A bit much to drink all night, but damn tasty.
If you want to learn (a tiny bit) more about the hurricane, I will lead you to the website of the bar that made it famous, and then proceeded to famously bastardize it. That's right. The parents of the drink mix weren't married when the mix was conceived. Seems Sciencey.
The basics:
Rum- Bacardi Superior (white), The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, and Bacardi 151
Juices- orange, unsweetened grapefruit, pineapple, cherry Kool-aid, and tropical punch Kool-aid (in Science, Kool-aid is juice)
Garnish- Oranges, lemons, limes, grenadine, maraschino cherries
The KEY (apparently)- Passion fruit syrup (in most recipes, in all seemingly quality recipes, often cited as the defining ingredient)
The Caveat:
Passion fruit syrup is hard to come by when you decide (while at work) Friday to make hurricanes all day Saturday. Especially in the particular locale in which I find myself. As such, improvisation is necessary. I came up with two substitutes, which may get combined at some point: 1 Qt. passion fruit juice reduced by half with approximately 1/2 cup sugar in it, and a pint of passion fruit sorbet (limited additional ingredients, no dairy) melted. Adventures in Science!
The logical place to start seems to be the "Hurricane Cocktail," seems to be the origin or basis the others stem from...also seems not to have a (real) recipe. You can find some...but they often have mixers or other things that suggest they are not really cocktails. The best description I have found was "rum, passion fruit syrup, and lemon juice." Seems authentic, and I think I like the puzzle of only being given an ingredients list with no proportions or instructions.
With no further ado:
ATTEMPT ONE
It got too big, because I was tinkering, but here were the proportions:
4 oz. White rum
4 oz. Dark rum
4 oz. Passion fruit goo (in this case melted sorbet...only after making the drink did I notice that the top layer of the sorbet was foam, with a syrup underneath...so this one was made with sorbet foam...whatever that means)
Juice of half a lemon
Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass.
The result...mixed. The color is odd (due to bright yellow passion fruit and black rum), it is super foamy (ummm...probably because I shook sorbet foam over ice? SCIENCE!)...but it tastes delicious! Light, bright, fruity and fun! A bit much to drink all night, but damn tasty.
The morning aftermath...
"I'm thinking...wait, no I'm not. I'm trying to think. It's similar, but less effective."
Also,
"Phones shouldn't be that arousing."
FOR THE RECORD...there was certainly some post-imbibement haze, but I think that post-coital languor was equally or more responsible. I was informed, however, that if that (the first one) wasn't a quote for this forum, nothing was.
Also, the haze this morning was bewildering. One mixed drink, one beer, and two Manhattans. I understand that those of less libatious fortitude might find that ample to result in drunkenness and next morning malaise, but I am staunch in my consumption. My only theory has to do with a combination of inadequate sleep (there is no valid reason any of us should be aware there is a 5:45 in the morning), not eating enough (I love food, I am not one of those creepy waif girls that won't eat--I just got distracted), and dehydration (my body works best with 2+ liters of water a day...stupid body, being all demanding).
My solution...you will see...
Also,
"Phones shouldn't be that arousing."
FOR THE RECORD...there was certainly some post-imbibement haze, but I think that post-coital languor was equally or more responsible. I was informed, however, that if that (the first one) wasn't a quote for this forum, nothing was.
Also, the haze this morning was bewildering. One mixed drink, one beer, and two Manhattans. I understand that those of less libatious fortitude might find that ample to result in drunkenness and next morning malaise, but I am staunch in my consumption. My only theory has to do with a combination of inadequate sleep (there is no valid reason any of us should be aware there is a 5:45 in the morning), not eating enough (I love food, I am not one of those creepy waif girls that won't eat--I just got distracted), and dehydration (my body works best with 2+ liters of water a day...stupid body, being all demanding).
My solution...you will see...
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