Pumpkin nickels! You don't know what that means. And neither do I. Don't have to. (I sometimes wonder if I have a mild, voluntary form of Tourette's...)
Sorry. I just really wanted to yell that just now (EVER so badly), but Jsun is on the phone--and it just wouldn't do.
P.S. I am in the bathroom.
P.P.S. You are totally creeped out now.
P.P.P.S. You are also intrigued. And I am also a dork. And maybe a bit tipsy.
P.P.P.P.S. I joined twitter (some random stab at taking blogging seriously...)
@MessyPlumPickle
Now I just have to write a tweet...and learn how to use twitter...and get this ellipses issue under control...
Monday, January 9, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
"So Fucking Purple"
That is a quote. A direct, precise, and completely accurate quote. Just can't remember who said it...Chaseycakes, I think...It was her drink.
Apparently last night was color-themed...and lime wedge themed? Why the fuck does everything have a lime wedge garnish? Despite not having lime in it!? (Damn, I need an interrobang key. Someone should get on that.)
But, I digress. Some of the things (appropriately) said about this "beverage":
"Same color as dimatapp!"
(None of us is a child, or foolish enough to have one, so no dimatapp was on hand...It was however only slightly more purple than the grape flavored Delsyum cough syrup included in the photo for reference.)
"This is the taste of purple. Proportions: evil + evil = evil."
"It's like you've distilled 'purrpal draank' and Dimetapp into a cocktail...You made a drink that tastes like things of my childhood!"
This was certainly not an example of my best cocktail handywork...wasn't meant to be, really. I was asked for a purple drink, and when I innocently joked that I could put purple kool-aid in it, I was brutally challenged that I likely did not even have purple kool-aid on hand, and then practically DARED to use it. This was both foolish (how could I NOT have kool-aid on hand?) and impossible to resist. As a result, the Purple Nasty was born.
1 1/2 oz. Pama
1 1/2 oz. Chambord
1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz. Whipped Cream vodka (because we wanna keep this shit classy)
A gentle sprinkling of grape kool-aid powder
The most awesome part? I tried to take it away from Chaseycakes, but she insisted on drinking it. She also redubbed herself "Biggie-C" while drinking it. Really good Science often involves making up new names for yourself and your loved ones.
Apparently last night was color-themed...and lime wedge themed? Why the fuck does everything have a lime wedge garnish? Despite not having lime in it!? (Damn, I need an interrobang key. Someone should get on that.)
But, I digress. Some of the things (appropriately) said about this "beverage":
"Same color as dimatapp!"
(None of us is a child, or foolish enough to have one, so no dimatapp was on hand...It was however only slightly more purple than the grape flavored Delsyum cough syrup included in the photo for reference.)
"This is the taste of purple. Proportions: evil + evil = evil."
"It's like you've distilled 'purrpal draank' and Dimetapp into a cocktail...You made a drink that tastes like things of my childhood!"
This was certainly not an example of my best cocktail handywork...wasn't meant to be, really. I was asked for a purple drink, and when I innocently joked that I could put purple kool-aid in it, I was brutally challenged that I likely did not even have purple kool-aid on hand, and then practically DARED to use it. This was both foolish (how could I NOT have kool-aid on hand?) and impossible to resist. As a result, the Purple Nasty was born.
1 1/2 oz. Pama
1 1/2 oz. Chambord
1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz. Whipped Cream vodka (because we wanna keep this shit classy)
A gentle sprinkling of grape kool-aid powder
The most awesome part? I tried to take it away from Chaseycakes, but she insisted on drinking it. She also redubbed herself "Biggie-C" while drinking it. Really good Science often involves making up new names for yourself and your loved ones.
And How Does That Make You Feel?
JSun made Chaseycakes a green cocktail. Chaseycakes made Jsun a "yellow" cocktail (something with brandy...I didn't exactly follow). I made my own damn self a "red" cocktail (dirty manhatten--just a splash of cherry juice added). The colors were not intentional, they just happened (almost as if by coincidence! But Science says there is no such thing as coincidence...), and then we noticed that there was a solid stop light theme going on.
The stoplight theme is deeply significant and meaningful, and says something about each individual, as well as about us as a group. I would break it down for you, but analysis of this super-meaningful metaphore is like a Rorschach, and says heaping bucket-loads about the analyzer. It's friggin' Science getting in your head, monkey-truckers!
And I won't show you mine until you show me yours.
The stoplight theme is deeply significant and meaningful, and says something about each individual, as well as about us as a group. I would break it down for you, but analysis of this super-meaningful metaphore is like a Rorschach, and says heaping bucket-loads about the analyzer. It's friggin' Science getting in your head, monkey-truckers!
And I won't show you mine until you show me yours.
The Wholesome Goodness of Christmas
"It tastes like christmas!"
"Holy crap, it is green death!"
"It's like lime and strawberry are going on a date...A christmas date!"
"It looks like it might be Science, to me..."
Some of the statements made about this little number...So canonized as Science, it is. It is also dead useful, because it uses a whole 1/4 ounce of green death! (I really think that is the most you can put in a drink without initiating lethality...I tell you, one random craving for a green Grasshopper, and this shit is going to be in the cupboard for the rest of my damn life.)
2 1/2 oz. Absolute Citron
1 oz. Whipped Cream Vodka
1/4 oz. Pimm's
1/4 oz. Green Creme de Menthe
Sadly, we did not think to frost the rim with holiday edition Pop Rocks until AFTER the drink was in the glass--so, no dice. Incidentally, the holiday Pop Rocks were supposed to taste like candy cane, but instead tasted like some unholy-bastard blend of strawberry and cinnamon. So, in case that cocktail wasn't Science, this certainly is:
The makers of Pop Rocks are lying sacks of cat-pee flavored jello. Also, they have rectal spiders.
Science has spoken.
"Holy crap, it is green death!"
"It's like lime and strawberry are going on a date...A christmas date!"
"It looks like it might be Science, to me..."
Some of the statements made about this little number...So canonized as Science, it is. It is also dead useful, because it uses a whole 1/4 ounce of green death! (I really think that is the most you can put in a drink without initiating lethality...I tell you, one random craving for a green Grasshopper, and this shit is going to be in the cupboard for the rest of my damn life.)
2 1/2 oz. Absolute Citron
1 oz. Whipped Cream Vodka
1/4 oz. Pimm's
1/4 oz. Green Creme de Menthe
Sadly, we did not think to frost the rim with holiday edition Pop Rocks until AFTER the drink was in the glass--so, no dice. Incidentally, the holiday Pop Rocks were supposed to taste like candy cane, but instead tasted like some unholy-bastard blend of strawberry and cinnamon. So, in case that cocktail wasn't Science, this certainly is:
The makers of Pop Rocks are lying sacks of cat-pee flavored jello. Also, they have rectal spiders.
Science has spoken.
Monday, December 5, 2011
I know this should be disgusting...
1.5 oz. Vodka
1.5 oz. Cointreau
.75 oz. Pickled bologna brine (this KILLS me)
Smoked paprika for garnish
My brain KNOWS this is disgusting...but my mouth keeps saying it is tasty. If that isn't Science, I don't know what the fuck is.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Blinding me with Science!
Sometimes the strangest ideas will flash through my mind--with no apparent provocation--and I accidentally believe them before I notice what is happening.
I was just getting back into my car after pumping gas (sadly, this is sober Science). I was chewing some key lime pie gum (Scientifically proven to be delicious, though not as delicious as the orange creamcicle gum), and I had the thought, "I should be careful not to slam my tongue in the car door." And I was. Very careful.
Which is, of course, ridiculous. Everyone knows you have to try very, very, VERY hard to slam your tongue in a car door. And if they didn't know before, they do now. Because I said so. It is a Scientific fact.
P.S. This vaguely reminds me of how I spent all last weekend anxious because I had a dream that I got an email at work saying I was in trouble (though I wasn't in trouble in real life). Then the next night I had anxiety dreams all night that it turned out the dream email was real and I really was in trouble. By the next morning I was thoroughly anxious and confused, and even though I knew it was nonsense I could not entirely put my mind at ease until I got to work on Monday. That probably isn't Science, though. That's just crazy. And I should know.
I was just getting back into my car after pumping gas (sadly, this is sober Science). I was chewing some key lime pie gum (Scientifically proven to be delicious, though not as delicious as the orange creamcicle gum), and I had the thought, "I should be careful not to slam my tongue in the car door." And I was. Very careful.
Which is, of course, ridiculous. Everyone knows you have to try very, very, VERY hard to slam your tongue in a car door. And if they didn't know before, they do now. Because I said so. It is a Scientific fact.
P.S. This vaguely reminds me of how I spent all last weekend anxious because I had a dream that I got an email at work saying I was in trouble (though I wasn't in trouble in real life). Then the next night I had anxiety dreams all night that it turned out the dream email was real and I really was in trouble. By the next morning I was thoroughly anxious and confused, and even though I knew it was nonsense I could not entirely put my mind at ease until I got to work on Monday. That probably isn't Science, though. That's just crazy. And I should know.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Birthday Science? Culinary Science? Something...
Jsun: I got you babies for your birthday. Six of them. I got you sextuplets for your birthday.
Me: Gross! You better not have! Are they for cooking?
Jsun: Yes. Babies are for braising.
Me: Silly man! You don't braise babies. Babies are tender, they don't need to be braised.
Jsun: You're right. Babies are the Cornish game hens of cannibalism.
Me: It's Science.
Me: Gross! You better not have! Are they for cooking?
Jsun: Yes. Babies are for braising.
Me: Silly man! You don't braise babies. Babies are tender, they don't need to be braised.
Jsun: You're right. Babies are the Cornish game hens of cannibalism.
Me: It's Science.
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