Francy pants chocolate!

What the fuck was I going to say about this cocktail? No one here knows. And they are the ones that insisted I post!

It is:
3/4 oz. Brandy
3/4 oz. Creme de cacao
3/4 oz. Half and half
1/4 oz. Green creme de menthe

Garnish with shavings of premium-ass chocolate. There seems to be some competition for the shavings...I am hoping for hot oil wrestling...

Science has an anus ring!

Okay, so...Anus tattoos. Something needs to be said...but what?

It started with a porn star's tattoo around her butt hole, something to the effect of "One ring to rule them all, One ring to bind them." The question arose as to whether you would hold your own ass cheeks apart for the requisite number of hours, or if you would ask someone else to hold your ass cheeks apart. I think it ended with the question of whether you would wear underwear (and risk a wedgie) if you were going to church on Easter with grandma during the healing period...We decided that if you have an anus tattoo, it is more likely that grandma goes to Easter church commando than you wearing underwear during the healing process. It is just common sense. It is Science!


Also:
Apparently anal tattoos are a remedy for chronic back pain:
"The tattoo needles actually draw out the back cramps through your anus...The ink is actually just the good juju that is deposited into your back through your anus." Medical Science by Chaseycakes.

Stupid ninjas!

"Pluralization counts! I don't know why my butt is wet."

And, on another occasion:

"That is some good beer! I need to take off my pants."

Up with life!

So the Jsun and I were at a Wilderness First Aid class, and we realized something important: Someday a hard-on just might save your life. We were discussing heart attacks and vasodilators (incidentally, vasodilation is one of my favorite words...and phenomena...) and Jsun made the point that, because it is a vasodilator, if you were having a heart attack Viagra might just save your life. Boners for survival, that's Science!

Fun Fact:

Singing in a dirty "French" voice about dirty things...really solid way to make sense of the world.

Geography!

Wisconsin is the Texas of Canada.

Also, beer festivals are AWESOME!

Preserved lemons...ROCK MY SOCKS!

Okay, preserved lemons are one of the most awesome things ever, it's a Scientific fact. I say so, and I make Science. Anyway, I make them, I love them, I eat them. And I am always looking for more ways to do all three. If you don't know what preserved lemons are--well, you're deprived, no two ways about it, but--you're not alone. They can be made a number of ways, but the way I make them is very simple: Combine lemons and salt in a jar (it is more detailed than this, but I can't imagine you care--and I am not an authority and you should ask someone else--that being said, I will tell you anyway: cut off the stem end of your lemons, quarter them, but don't cut quite all the way through, pack the cut surfaces with kosher salt, pack the lemons into a jar with "shoulders", cram them down as hard as you can with a wooden spoon, pack as many as you possibly can in the jar, smooshing the juice out of them, if necessary add more lemon juice to cover the lemons, add a tablespoon or so of kosher salt, seal, and store in a cool dark place for 4 weeks, shaking/turning over occasionally. The finished product will store about a year in the fridge). [I bet any English teachers' heads exploded with all those commas.]

So, upshot: They are extremely salty and sour. I WANT TO PUT THEM IN COCKTAILS. Sort of a sweet/salty kinda notion. This works extremely well with li hing mui (a salty/sweet/sour dried plum), which makes amazing margaritas, infused vodka, and a variety of other cocktails.

IDEA 1: Preserved Lemon Simple Syrup

Not sure how this will work out. It is sweet, salty, and slightly bitter. Thick. This is going to take some experimentation. No, I didn't take a picture. Use your imagination.


IDEA 2: Preserved Lemon Dirty Martini

Use a bit of brining liquid instead of olive juice and garnish with a bit of lemon. I hope to try this later...but I have had beer, and an attempt using IDEA 1, and the Kool-aid is calling me.


ATTEMPTS

Preserved Lemon Drop- This was weird. I may have put too much syrup in. I dunno. I ended up dumping it into a pint glass (before I thought to take a picture) and adding  diet lemon-lime soda.


Okay...dinner time...maybe I will try again later...