Bubble Gum Whippit Bitch, bitch

So, we bought some whipped cream vodka. Can't say why. I think maybe we were drunk. The liquor store is very close by (an easy walk), so more than once we have found ourselves tipsily wandering the aisles of the ABC. I think it was just before the winter holiday, and I get very "treat" oriented around that time. I want special foods and drinks. I wanted some sort of flavored vodka, and a new flavor, but couldn't find anything that suited. I think we started discussing the whipped cream vodka as a joke, but somehow it ended up in the basket.

It is hard to describe the cloying sweetness that is whipped cream vodka. It is like syrup is strangling your tongue while sugar spanks you and honey records the whole thing. You are left feeling dirty, and wrong, and you can't get the taste out of your mouth...And yet, there is something kind of fun about it.

Nonetheless, however wrong it is, something needs to be done with it.

• 1 part whipped cream vodka
• 1 part amaretto
• 2 parts vodka
• 1 part half and half

Shake well with ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with cinnamon (fresh ground is best, as always, but pre-ground will readily work) and wham, bam, thank you Spam, you get this:



 Here's where things get fucked up. Way more fucked up than this trainwreck. When you sip this spirituous abomination, making sure to get just a bit of cinnamon, there is a flavor of bubble gum on the back of the palate. It is absolute craziness. Not Crazy Town, but definitely craziness.

I am trying a new thing where I attempt to explain myself: So, the above clearly explains the bubble gum; the whippit is a reference to the whipped cream, and...well...it is clearly a bitch drink. I made the one above for Jsun, and it made me giggle furiously to think that I was playing a drink bitch...making a bitch drink.

Fun hint: The trick of the tongue that produces the bubble gum flavor seems to relate to having cinnamon, but just a little. If you use pre-ground cinnamon, you can sprinkle it on top and then gently blow on it at an angle. This will spread the cinnamon finely and evenly across the surface. Plus, it is fun.


P.S. I was in a restaurant in Spain, once. It was late (CRAP night of long travel), and the only thing open in the area I was in was a tourist-themed restaurant catering to English speakers. (What is super crazy is that Spaniards--at least in the city--have dinner at 10 at night, so you know it was fucking late.) Anycow, I was in a pisser of a mood, when suddenly the menu saved me with an involuntary guffaw: They had cramberry juice, cramberry cocktails, and even cramberry sauce on a turkey sandwich. Sometimes I try to imagine what a cramberry is like. I suspect you cram it in your cram-hole. But I don't know where my cramhole is.

So, that was totally pointless. Not sure why I thought of that, and even less sure why I posted it. Maybe I was just trying to provide tangible evidence that my current goal is to post something, anything, on a regular basis. And then to work on improving the quality of the content. That's it. This was intentional. And illustrative.